Psst, what's in that bag?

So I've been carrying around this colorful bag that I bought in Thailand to work with me everyday along with my usual handbag after returning from maternity leave.

Wondering what's inside?

• Medela Freestyle Pump
• Handsfree bra 
• Cooler bag with ice pack
• 2 medela milk bottles 

If you are not interested in a long boring story on pumping then read no further! You have been warned...

So I guess this makes me a so called "work and pump" mom. I wanted to make sure that Jude continued to have breastmilk while I was away at work so I just made sure to pump on a daily basis the equivalent of the milk that she consumed. She would typically have three 5oz bottles of milk while I was away. That equated to me pumping 3 times a day; in the morning before heading to work, at work and then at night before bed.

Jude has just turned 1 and this 1 year I have to say that I really bonded with this little palm size pump. I have used it in a lot of unexpected locations ...  in the sky (on a plane) on the ground (train, car) at sea (on a boat) ... haven't managed to take it underwater diving!  The reason that it was so necessary for me to pump in all those locations was not just to collect milk , in some cases I just dumped it, but it could get really uncomfortable if I went long hours between feeds or pump sessions. I also tend to get blocked ducts quite easily so I just wanted to keep that in check.

Now that Jude is 1 I have decided to discontinue my relationship with my pump, yes! Finally! And I must say that I feel somewhat liberated to be walking around not worrying about how or when or where I'm going to be pumping. I literally feel lighter not carrying my colourful bag around town with me. I have now replaced Jude's bottle feeds with full fat cow's milk and she gets to nurse from me whenever I'm around. I still need to figure out how and when I'm going to wean her completely but I expect it to be gradual over this year.

Here are some useful links on:
Milk storage : http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/milkstorage.html
Traveling : http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/travel_recommendations.htm
Work and pump: http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/bf-links-pumping/

*Note: this post was drafted over a year ago, we have long since weaned from breastfeeding :)

Has it really been 15 months?

I have just realized that its been 15 months since my last blog post! I realize that I have been away for some time, but just didn't realize how long its been exactly. Coincidentally, my absence from the blogging sphere coincided with Jude starting to stand, walk and run around. I guess I've been busy running behind her and she has been more demanding of my time lately.

I'm going to give blogging another attempt and hope to keep it up!

Bakasana to headstand I will conquer you ...

So my latest physical challenge is to get myself to go from bakasana (crow pose) into headstand.

I have been practicing yoga for around 2 years now, I started right before I got pregnant because I wanted to get myself into a regular exercise that I could continue throughout my pregnancy. Prior to that, I had been doing regular boot camp sessions on the beach, so not the ideal workout to continue while pregnant.

I started off yoga twice a week with an Iyengar yoga instructor by the name of Shipla, who works from her home in Ghubra. Her instruction uses props such as belts, bolsters, blocks and ropes to help students get into correct positions. The class mixes beginners, advanced, expecting, non-expecting students all in one class, but she groups and instructs students according to their levels. I really enjoy the benefit of the props which allow for deeper extensions, encouragement of inversions and improvement of flexibility in general. Her classes are an earful for sure as she describes the 8 limbs of yoga, and keeping your mind clear of destructive demonic forces and other such mindful teachings.

After getting pregnant , I also added on pre-natal yoga classes with Karen Wilmot at Whispers of Serenity. Her yoga classes are specifically catered to pregnant women, so it was a great way to meet other expecting mothers. The class focused on hip openers, strengthening the pelvic floor and long sessions of belly breathing. Regular belly breathing exercises made it very easy for me to switch into the mode of belly breathing during labor which I feel really helped keep me calm through contractions in labor.

I complemented my yoga practice with regular walking and even added on climbing up and down stairs as an exercise to open up my pelvis in the last few weeks leading up to my due date. I considered myself to be quite fit for a pregnant woman and didn't expect my fitness level to drop much.

What I did not realize is that although you may not feel much different from your previous self, your body really does change a lot through pregnancy. I started getting back into light exercise around 2 weeks postpartum. My super-fit mom encouraged me to get on her treadmill every now and then when Jude was napping. I can't say that I was consistent about it but it did feel good to start doing normal activities other than focusing all my thoughts and efforts on my newborn baby.

I did not feel confident pursuing other exercises right away. I did a quick self-assessment at home and realized that my abdomen had separated as a result of the pregnancy, I could literally fit 3 fingers straight through a gap in between my left and right abdomen.  Abdominal separation also known as distasis recti is quite common for multiple pregnancies , and places you at a higher risk of lower back issues and  injuries such as a hernia. Certain exercises may even make the gap wider, which concerned me.  

At 4 months, post partum , I decided that I needed to get into a regular exercise routine so that I could start feeling like myself again and stop treating myself like a patient that's still recovering from some illness. I got a personal trainer to come home and trained with her twice a week.  With my busy work schedule and rushing home to spend time with Jude before bedtime, I just did not have the energy to leave home again for a workout, so that option worked quite well for me. I was so shocked the first time I tried to do a leg raise because I could barely lift my lower legs. I had lost so much muscle strength in my abs, but I took that as a challenge. 

I also added on yoga sessions again, with another yoga instructor by the name of Tomoko whose detail-oriented instruction focuses on correct technique, flow and breathing, with a perfectly matching soundtrack for each session.  

The thing that I enjoy most about yoga, is the fact that no matter how much I progress there's always something more to attain. I've worked hard to be able to hold a headstand without wall support, this is a great achievement for me, because it makes me realize that I have managed to bring back some of the abdominal strength that I may have lost during pregnancy.

Through yoga and meditation, I have gained mind discipline. In labor, I managed to virtually levitate my mind away from my body and thus minimize my perception of pain.

My next big challenge is moving from crow to headstand, so I guess I need to work on my crow pose to feel comfortable enough to drop my head. I should add that this is just as much a mental exercise as it is a physical one. Wish me luck on progressing with this!

For more info on distasis recti visit http://www.befitmom.com/diastasis_recti.html

Love at First Sight? I think not...

After waiting for nearly 10 months to finally hold my baby in my arms, I expected to feel some kind of eternal love for her, some type of inexplicable connection to her. I expected to adore this little creature that I had been hosting within me for so many months and praying for her successful birth.

I felt none of this.

Following my labor, I felt elated to have crossed that hurdle of no longer being pregnant. I was exhausted and my whole body ached. Despite this, I knew that I had to do my best to ensure her continued survival now that she was out of the womb.

I remember people coming over to visit and talking about how cute she was. I didn't see anything cute about her, alien maybe, but not cute. When family members took photos of her to share with people who were out of town, I remember feeling truly embarrassed for them to be sharing photos of my baby who simply did not look that great to me. I didn't even feel like she was mine, I felt like she could easily have been the baby of any of my friends who had recently delivered. She certainly looked like any other newborn out there.

In trying to search for words to explain how I felt about her in the first couple of weeks, the only thing I can say is that it was biological instinct. There were no emotions involved. I just knew that I had to work to ensure that she was fed, kept warm and comforted. I worked mechanically and instinctively to do that. I'm not quite sure why I felt that way, maybe I felt the need to ensure her safety first before allowing emotions to get in the way. I did not feel comfortable admitting these feelings of un-love to anyone.

It was only after 2 weeks that the feelings of love started to come in. The rush of going through the labor and the shock of having a newborn in my arms started to sink in and settle in to a level of comfort in which I could allow for emotions of love to make their way in. It was only once those feelings of love came that I admitted to my husband that I initially felt no love. I felt safe admitting to it once the love started to flow. Maybe I had initially feared that those feelings would never come and that I would surely be considered a horrible mother if I felt no love for my child.

The love that I feel continues to flow in with each passing day and even when I think that I can't possibly love her more than I already do, these feelings just continue to develop and flourish as she continues to grow and expresses her personality. The love just continues to wash over me daily, consistently, continuously and undeniably.  

Pain to Pleasure, Challenges to Enjoyments - my breastfeeding journey

One thing I knew for certain when I got pregnant was that I wanted to be able to breastfeed my baby. I had already heard so many stories of moms giving up on breastfeeding attempts early on. After all my prep work leading up to Jude's birth (see post on Confidence - the essential ingredient to successful breasfeeding) , I envisioned a pretty smooth journey. We had even practiced different holds in my pre-natal class so I was all set, I knew exactly how to hold my baby in a cross-over hold  and what a correct latch should look like, sounds easy enough, right? Wrong... 

      

Although I was mostly hung up on not having enough of a milk supply to continue breastfeeding that ended up being the least of my concerns. 

The journey started right in the delivery room. Lucky for me, the only intervention I ended having was the nitrous oxide/laughing gas which I really enjoyed. I'll have to save my birth story for another post. Nitrous oxide does not pass through the placenta as would the epidural or pethidine. With the help of midwives at Corniche Hospital we managed to latch on and get breastfeeding started in the delivery room. I was a happy camper!

Well the following few days were not easy. From having people pinch my boob to get her to latch, from having a lactation consultant yell at me that crying was a late sign of hunger - even though my baby was on the boob just a few minutes before she walked in - , from having my mother and other relatives try to convince me to put my baby on a supplement when Jude would be crying at night. It was definitely not easy starting things off.

However, I'm glad that I stuck with my instincts and kept what I had read in mind. I knew that supplementing would not encourage my milk to come in and that I just needed to keep my baby on the breast and nurse her as much as she wanted.

It took a bit of practice to get the correct latch. Even when we were latched correctly, the first few seconds were quite painful. I initially thought the pain was due to wrong latch, but it turns out that some women get latch-on pains that last for a few seconds at the beginning of every feed session until they get accustomed to nursing. It was quite painful,  I would just close my eyes in anticipation of the pain at each feed. That continued for at least a week. 

By the second week I was so engorged and could feel lumps forming, all the way up my underarms. That's right, my UNDERARMS ...  I know! Shocking - apparently the way I was sleeping with my arms crossed over my head would get the milk to flow in that direction. How odd!

By the third week I started getting a fever and chills and ended up being re-admitted to the hospital. I was so chocked up when they told me that I would be admitted all I could muster up to say was "What about my baby? She's breastfed". At that point in time I could not bare to be separated from my baby. I'm sure she would have been fine if I had left her with my mom to take care of. 

I insisted that I would be able to cope with taking care of my newborn whilst being hooked up to an IV the whole time. Of course my mom knew that it would be difficult and she insisted on staying with me for the whole three nights that I was in hospital sleeping on an uncomfortable semi-reclinable chair since there was no spare bed in my room. While she cared for her daughter I cared for mine. 

They put me on antibiotic drips and I had to continue on antibiotics for another 2 weeks. After running all kinds of tests they could not fine anything wrong with me and attributed my high fever to possibly mastitis and told me that I had an oversupply issue! Who would have thought. The lactation consultant asked me if I was taking any galactagogues .. and I was like galacta - WHAT? Sounded like something from a galaxy in outer space. I now know that a galactagogue is any substance taken to increase milk supply. Well, yes of course, I was on hilba and both my mom and mom-in-law insisted that I drink 3 cups of this heavy fenugreek porridge to ensure that my milk supply came in (recipe below). I was so sick of being forced to drink this porridge, it would make me feel so full that I had no appetite to eat anything else. I was so glad that I could go back home and finally stop drinking it on ... ahem.. "medical grounds". That's what it took to convince my overeager family !

During my time at the hospital I met with different lactation consultants all with different opinions on how to address  the oversupply issue. Some insisted that I should pump to relieve the engorgement, whereas others discouraged me from pumping as that would not resolve the oversupply issue. It was so confusing, but I ultimately ended up going with what I felt most comfortable doing. I took a break from pumping for a few days but then went back to pumping once a day at least because I wanted Jude to be able to alternate between bottle and breast.

Unfortunately, being on antibiotics probably lowered our good bacteria and ended up leading to thrush which was something we ended up struggling to get rid of for another 6 - 8 weeks. I even gave up sugar in the hopes of expediting the recovery.

Its been pretty smooth sailing since then, although I do think that I tended to be a bit susceptible to blocked ducts and had them on at least 4 different occasions. After trying a few different things, I found that the quickest solution for me was to take lecithin supplements whenever I started feeling a block and pumping directly after feeds to make sure to drain the block.

Today nursing is so easy and enjoyable I look forward to connecting with Jude when I get home from work in the one way that I know no one else can. I love our bond and although I initially planned on nursing for 6 months, my new aim is 1 year and will see from there.

Hilba Recipe (if you dare!) 

Ingredients
2 tbsp hilba (fenugreek)
3 tbsp rice soaked in water
pinch of cardamon powder
Saffron strands
Sugar to taste
1.5 litre milk

Directions
Soak hilba overnight in water
Grind the rice in a blender with a bit of water
Heat the milk, then add ground rice
Stir continuously to keep lumps from forming
Add sugar, cardamon and saffron
Continue to stir and cook on low flame until milk is reduced to half
Add drained hilba and continue to cook for a few more minutes
Cook less or more according to the thickness you prefer

Post Eid Clean Eating

Eid Mubarak!

Hope you had an excellent Eid with your families. If your Eid was anything like ours, then you probably over indulged in halwa, biscuits and lots of meat meat meat. One of the most exciting things is the lamb Shuwwa that our family has on the second day of Eid. Its absolutely great, but then we definitely feel the need for a healthy eating streak to compensate for the over-indulgence. Not to mention all the fried foods that accompanied breaking our fast in Ramadhan and the sweet cravings that followed.

We've decided to have salads every night post-Eid and we've done quite well at sticking with it. Thanks to pinterest there's always a new or creative salad to try out. The winning salad this week was the Shrimp Quinoa Superfood Salad.

Quinoa is a protein and fiber rich gluten-free whole grain, cooked pretty much the same way as rice and can easily be part of breakfast, lunch or dinner. This low GI carb is considered to be a superfood packed with antioxidants and is one of the more popular super foods - at the moment - we all know how quickly the celebrity foods get de-listed. Qunioa is a low glycaemic index (GI) carb , so takes longer to break down and keeps you full and sustains energy for longer. 

 

 

I got this recipe from Iowagirleats.com, here's the recipe . The lemon vinaigrette goes really well with the quinoa and the combination of savory and fruity ingredients was really enjoyable. 

 While looking out for healthy recipes, I also decided to try out zucchini noodles, also known as "zoodles", which are cooked similar to pasta recipes, replacing the pasta with zuccini. The concept sounded pretty interesting so I decided to give it a try. There are several different tools out there for getting the perfect shaped zoodles. I just used what I could find in my kitchen, a grater and veggie pealer. The grated zucchini seemed more mushy whereas the pealed slices seemed to have a better texture. I threw my zoodles on a pan with some pesto sauce, sprinkled some parmesan over it and added some pine nuts.  It actually looked pretty good.

However, it miserably failed the taste test, and turned out to be quite bitter. I don't think I'll be trying this out again and will just stick with my usual whole wheat spaghetti.

 

Ramadhan and Bran Muffins

Ramadhan Kareem!

Today is the 22nd of Ramadhan and they have just announced the Eid holidays. We've been given a nice long 10 days off together with the Renaissance Day holiday. Its going to be Jude's first Eid so we are looking forward to spending time with family.

I wasn't sure whether to fast or not this Ramadhan as its not required for pregnant or breastfeeding mothers if they feel that it may affect their baby. I decided to go ahead and give it a try and take breaks if I felt that I was having any supply issues. I didn't want to miss out on another Ramadhan since I was pregnant last year and didn't end up fasting. 

So far I haven't had any major issues. I just tend to get really thirsty during the day and end up drinking over 3 litres of water between iftar and imsak. Just last week I noticed that my supply tends to be a bit low as I approach 7 pm, I don't want to end up with any long term effects on my supply so I decided to take 2 days off over the last weekend, and noticed that it did make a bit of a difference. We are close to the end of Ramadhan so hamdilla I managed to fast nearly all the days.

I'm not so great at having suhoor, but there's a buzz feed post that's been circulating about some of the ideal foods for Suhoor. The recipes look really delicious, so I decided to try out the bran muffin recipe today since I also happened to notice wheat bran for the first time at the supermarket. 

I skipped out on the pieces of raisin at the end, but not quite sure why my first batch collapsed down the middle. Either way, tastes good!

For some links on breastfeeding and fasting click here